2004
Aged 17
I went with a friend (we worked together too) to meet some boys we knew from school at one of their houses. She was seeing one of the boys and the other was just a friend of mine. She went upstairs with one and left me with the other. We were sat on the sofa watching tv and talking, he mentioned to me that I was one of the only girls in our year that he hadn’t “banged” and I gave him some smarmy comeback like “yeh and that’s never going to change”.
I didn’t fancy him at all, and it was true what he said – he had slept with a lot of my school friends. I had zero desire to do anything with him. It was a long time ago so I can’t remember every detail but all I remember is him pulling on my tights (I was wearing my work uniform, which was a dress) I was saying no and didn’t take it too seriously because the boys at our school used to grope and pull on our uniforms all the time. I’d been fighting them off for years, so I didn’t get too worried. That was until he ripped my tights and started putting his hands towards my underwear.
He was pushing his weight on to me and that is when the panic set in. I remember saying no and I remember pushing him away. He managed to move my underwear and force himself inside me. I remember shouting no and telling him to get off me. He only managed a few seconds before he left me alone because I was shouting and I don’t think he wanted anyone to hear. As he got up, he walked out and went into another room. I pulled my dress down, crossed my legs so tightly and waited for my friend on the sofa, then we left together.
I told her he’d tried it on but I said no, I didn’t tell her everything. I just brushed it off. I didn’t know what had happened to me until I spoke to my therapist a few years ago, she explained to me that it was rape. I don’t know why but I didn’t think it was before, because it didn’t last more than a few “pushes and he didn’t “finish”. Luckily we had left school by this point and I have only seen him a few times since.