• Menu
  • Menu

Sexual Abuse/ Stalking/ Grooming/ Domestic Abuse

JS aged 15-35


When I was 15 I went to a house party. This was a friend of a friend, a group of other kids my age drinking cheap cider as was quite typical in the ’90s. Then a man arrived. I’d never met him before, he was introduced as a neighbour and he, oddly, joined the party. I found out he was 28! He immediately made a beeline for me, sitting on the arm of the sofa I was on, he then began to touch me, stroke my back where no one could see, tried to hold my hand. I felt really uncomfortable.

As it grew later the party moved to his flat. I didn’t live near by and slowly everyone left except my best friend and her boyfriend. They disappeared into this man’s bedroom and suddenly I was left alone with him. At this point I was really intoxicated, I blacked out and he raped me on his sofa, I was 15 and a virgin.

That night the police were called and came looking for me and a friend but didn’t get his address. I woke in the morning bleeding vaginally. I didn’t tell anyone. I wasn’t supported at home, and looking back, was the perfect victim for a paedophilic, sexual predator.

From this point he groomed me, he appeared everywhere I was, at my school, at my weekend job, at my home and my friends homes. Eventually he wore me down and there became some sort of “relationship” the sexual abuse continued. He forced me to perform sex acts on him in public.

Complaints were made about him by my youngest sister’s school to my mother, because of the way he touched me while I was waiting to collect her.

No one did anything.

He knew what he was doing was wrong. The day after my 16th birthday he collected me to live with him, skirting on the edge of the law. I had no support system and didn’t finish education, dropping out of school in year 10 because of him.

The coercion and verbal abuse escalated and I became trapped in the situation. I ended up marrying him at 17, my dad (an alcoholic) signed a consent form. 17! Who does that?

I had our first child shortly after. I know thats difficult to understand and I can’t explain why we had children. We had a further 6 children. I guess it makes it harder to leave, having a larger family.

I contacted the council to get support with housing, they never did. Women’s Aid could only put me into refuge, so I stayed for my children.

I was a shell of a person, I saw no way out. I had no money, no family, few friends. After another violent rape and the discovery of more infidelity, I made an escape plan. I went back into education and worked my way up to masters level, I had our youngest child during the time too. It was a challenge and as you can imagine, the abuse escalated as I outgrew him and he lost control of me.

During my time with him multiple other women and teens made complaints about him.

In 2017 he was arrested for rape in our home In front of our children. He was bailed back to our address but the relationship was over. I couldn’t get him to leave and the police didn’t help. I expected him to be sentenced for that crime, shockingly those charges got dropped.

I went to the police and reported everything he had done to me. The investigation was poor, a male police officer threatened to arrest me when I became distressed after he brought my abuser to my address. I was not supported.

They said CPS dropped the charges, saying it would be my word against his, despite there being witnesses. I recently found out that CPS didn’t make a charging decision, the police didn’t complete the investigation. They lied. I was told all cases involving a child, which at 15 I was, should go to CPS for a decision. The police now claim that because I stayed into adulthood it doesn’t apply. They say that I won’t be believed by a jury because of the length of time I stayed. Blaming me, as a victim.

Currently I am fighting for justice. I have suffered immensely because of my trauma. Please share my story for awareness.

*Location marked indicates where the party in 1998 took place