Danielle, Aged 16/17
1997/1998
I used to work in a sport shop/sports stall. I was invited out with an older lady for drinks, whilst I was under age, on a night out straight from work. We went to a rave night at a club above the *** pub. I remember I was dancing and I saw my college friend’s boyfriend in there MCing, and the girl I was with was chatting with a group of lads. I saw an old school friend so chatted to him for a bit and then hung out with the girl I went to the bar with. We had some drinks bought for us, and then next thing I knew I woke up with my eyes open, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to make any form of murmer and a man was having sex with me?! It was like a weird out of body experience… He did his thing, and although in my head I was trying to say NO, GET OFF ME, I was literally temporary paralysed, I was conscious but I couldn’t say anything or move or anything… The girl came into the room after the men had gone. She got me water and I think it was a while until I properly came around and showered and cried. It was weird experience, it was short and quick from what I remember but I was in shock. I didn’t go out with that girl again. I had a boyfriend at the time and it really made me feel ashamed for not stopping it from happening. It took a long time to reflect back for me to realise it really wasn’t my fault, and I must have been spiked and I was lucky that i wasn’t hurt or catch any disease or get pregnant. I felt ashamed having to get a morning after pill feeling dirty and used. It really took a long time to get over that…
Note: Danielle recorded two other instances of sexual assault on our Google Form, one of which we regret we are unable to plot on the map as it took place in a private house and is therefore out of our remit in mapping public sexual harassment and violence. However, Danielle said that she is sharing these historical stories now for “liberation” and to support her in that cathartic process we have shared the third story below. Read her first story here. Thank you Danielle for choosing to share your stories now and on Reclaim Blackpool Map. Please click here if you require further information on support services.
Sexual assault, aged 19, 2001
I had been out in Poulton with an older boyfriend and his friends and some were couples. We went back to a house party, but I didn’t feel well so I went to bed. I was asleep facing away from the bedroom door alone, with the light off, and my boyfriend was downstairs with his friends at the time. I must have been in a deep sleep, I then woke up with someone crawling into the bed with me with their hand up legs up my dress, into me, inside my knickers, and stroking me. I turned around slowly taking the sleeping face mask off my eyes, and it wasn’t my boyfriend, I froze then shouted get off me get out, and I jumped straight up and ran after the man out of the house, I came back in the house crying, and explained what had happened, and they didn’t know who the man was who had penetrated me. I was told to calm down and at least he didn’t rape me! There weren’t any girls or partners there at the time of the party, apart from one wife who was asleep on the sofa next to her husband. I was always paranoid wanting to try to remember the face of that person who did that to me! I still don’t know who it was.