Aged 19, 2003
I got a taxi home from a night out with friends – I was the last one in the cab. I was very drunk and was struggling to open my front door. A man – I’m unsure if it was the taxi driver or a neighbour – came behind me and turned the key to help me in. He then pushed me into my room, it was a ground floor flat, and raped me – in my bed in my home. I didn’t see his face so I didn’t report it as I figured he would argue I invited him in and I wouldn’t be able to identify him. I had pushed the memory down but with all the talk of historic sexual assault in the news at the minute it’s really triggered me to replay and remember. I’ve started having panic attacks and feeling unsafe in my home. I feel so angry that I didn’t try to get him found and punished but after witnessing so many cases fall apart and knowing mine would be so hard I didn’t have the energy to relive the experience and have to convince people I didn’t let him in. I can’t sleep at night at the min and I’m hoping by writing it down it will go some way to letting it go.